


Of Competition and Meditation

by Skipz12



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, How the heck did I think of this pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2524850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skipz12/pseuds/Skipz12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Morgan is feeling the pressure hard. Between harsh injuries and high expectations the forward might just snap. She needs to mellow out and it might just take a certain green eyed forward to help her do just that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So yea disclaimer I dont own any of these people cause that would be slavery and slavery is gross kids.
> 
> Also I dont write Fanfic (this is like my 3rd one) often and when I do its always a pairing right out of left field. I do hope someone other than me enjoys this so feel free to give me feedback. Its always appreciated!

Stepping onto the field never stops being exhilarating, which is why a little bit of her dies whenever she's kept from it. Alex Morgan the star forward stretched her arms behind her back taking in the fresh air of the field, reveling in it.

The team was back at camp. It had been a month since the CONCACAF championship. A month since she sprained her ankle and missed yet another glorious win on the pitch. They had qualified for the World Cup and as ecstatic as she was, the cold reality hit. They had done it without her. She was shamed to say it bit at her more than it should have. There is no I in team, and this team was deep. She heard it every other minute of the tournament broadcast, commentators constantly going on about the level of star power and ability just sitting on their bench. There was always someone right on your boot heels in this team, ready to claim your spot should you stumble. Every time her body buckled and gave way beneath her she felt the breath of her replacement hot on her neck and it pissed her off.

Don't get her wrong, she loved her team those girls were and always would be permanent fixtures in the greatest memories of her life. It was her competitive nature that drove bits of insecurity into her being. She had been on the mend for far too long and she was ready to get back in the thick of things.

She got to the field earlier than everyone else, the rest of her team lagging behind in the complex hall waiting for the last couple of players to arrive from the hotel as the second bus had been running late. She wanted to get back on the field and back to normal as soon as possible, and normal for her was on green grass with a soccer ball between her feet. 

She had been practicing dribbles for about 10 minutes before she heard another pair of cleats on the grass. She looked up expecting the rest of the team but only saw one. 

Christen Press.

The green-eyed forward casually set her bag on the ground and began to stretch out her legs.

"Hey"

"Hi"

Christen smiled in response and continued to stretch her limbs out. Alex shuffled the ball in her feet.

"Is the rest of the team here yet?" Alex asked the other girl.

"No. the other bus should be pulling up soon its close by." Christen replied.

"Oh"

Alex watched the other forward stretch. Its not that they weren't friendly or anything, they just ran in different circles. Well, as different as can be when you're on the same national team, but still, Christen had only just started getting Caps. Press, for as eloquent of a speaker as she is, was one of the quieter people on the squad. She was definitely one of the most low-key people Alex had ever met. While the rest of the girls would be out at the nearest sports bar more than a few times Christen would hang back preferring to chill in her room reading a book or like meditating. Alex often ran with the "Rowdier" part of the Squad. Syd, Rapinoe, Ashlynn, the only time she ever truly interacted with Press was when Kelley brought her around. In hindsight Alex realized she really didn't know anything about the girl. She was embarrassed to admit she wasn't even sure what race/ethnicity the other girl was. Not that it mattered but Alex decided it felt like something she should know. She hardly remembered ever seeing the girls family.

Christen got up off the ground and Alex felt her cheeks warm at the realization that she'd been staring quite awhile. If the other girl noticed she didn't show it. 

"Hey you got another ball I could swipe?" 

Alex startled at Press' voice. 

"Sorry what?" 

"I forgot to swipe one from the trainers bag before I came out here I wanted to dribble around a bit" Christen had an easy smile on her face and Alex instantly relaxed.

"Yea I do, here" Alex rolled a second ball out her bag and easily chipped it to Christen. Press touched it with her knee and began to dribble the soccer ball to the side away from Alex.

Alex tried to go back to her own drills but soon enough found herself distracted again by the mystery of a girl.

If Alex was being honest she knew she was one of the teams obvious eye-candies. Hope, Syd, and herself always caught the brunt of the Male fans attentions, while Megan, Ali, Ashlyn, and Kelley seemed to attract the most female gazes. Every member of the team was beautiful in Alex's opinion but she thinks the general public might be underscoring Press. The girl truly was gorgeous, she had a great body (I mean they all do) but unlike her she had a bit more curves to offer. She had a gorgeous smile and she was smart. Most of all though had to be her eyes, they were a gorgeous light shade of green and Alex had to admit she found herself looking at them longer than likely appropriate for a teammate (but she was sure everyone did! I mean how could you not?). The more she thought about the girls features the more she wondered if it had always been that obvious and why only now was she really noticing.

Alex snapped out of her thoughts when she felt something warm and wet hit her knuckles. She looked down confused and then alarmed. 

It was drool. She was fucking drooling thinking about her teammate.

Alex hurried turned away to clean herself off. There was no hiding her embarrassment this time, her face was flaming hot. She shook herself off and composed herself hoping the other girl didn't notice what a fucking creep she was being. To her relief when she turned back around the other girl was too wrapped up in her own mini practice to be concerned with her. As she got herself together she saw Christen take on a harder pace with her dribbling. The forward rolled the ball underneath her right foot, and pushed forward towards the other end of the field with lightning speed. Alex forgot how much Press' speed rivaled her and Syd's. Press stops outside the 6 on the far right side, kicks up the ball and smashes it into the back of the net. The display snaps Alex out of her stupor.

Its an impressive display, even if it was just a practice shot. This is her competition as well, Alex had noticed Jill Ellis' interest in the girl. She started every remaining game during Qualifying the second Alex was out. Though she noticed the Stanford forward could fade into the background sometimes on the pitch, however when she resurfaced it was often in a big way. 15 goals in 32 caps was not something to ignore, especially when only half that were starts. 

Alex broke her gaze away once again and put focus on her own ball, which she hardly touched since Press showed up. She felt adrenaline shoot through her and the familiar rush of competition swelled in her chest. She was here to prove that no injury would ever make her second best.

Finally the soft chatter of the team bubbled across the field as they made their way towards the practice field with the rest of the training staff and coach. Her thoughts turned focused and she prepped herself for the practice to come. The Stanford forward all but forgotten in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo! so much internal POV. Short chapter but its just an intro chapter. Next chapter will have way more outside interaction now that the team is appearing and y'all have been introduced to the mind of Alex Morgan. Also next chapter will be longer, lol tell me what you think. Totally thrown off by this crack!pairing yet muahahaha :D  
> Next Chapter: Things get a little intense on the field and Alex's competitive nature goes a bit too far.


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own these people. That would be bad, very bad.

"Get Back!"  
"Go! Go!"  
"Syd! Over Here"

Practice was in full swing. They only had a few short days to prepare for their friendly against Australia. Jill had split the girls into two separate teams for a scrimmage. The World Cup was approaching fast, and the team knew that despite the talk Ellis was struggling to pick her starting eleven. So making an impression during practice was a must. As selfish as it was Alex was only concerned about one thing. That she was on that starting lineup and that she didn’t get off. The rest she could figure out when it was game time.

The teams had been split pretty evenly in skill. It was her and Abby up top with A-Rod positioned only slightly behind on their left. They had HAO, Kling, Tobin, Dunn, Brunn, Christie, and Ashlyn in the goal. It was something she could definitely work with. Her only concern was getting herself and Abby past Kriegs and Lauren, but most importantly beat Hope.

She saw Tobin run up the center and she started to push forward. The current score was 1 - NIL, thanks to Abby's header off an impressive cross from Kling. Tobin found a bit of space and launched the ball toward her in the box. Alex caught the ball off her toe and began her run. _One Touch_. _Two Touch_. She slammed her right foot on it and-

**Clank!**

Alex cringed as it hit right off the top of the crossbar, and flicked behind goal. She looked to her left as Abby gave her the thumbs up. Alex took a break and shook it off, Abby was right she was only just getting started.

"Move Left! Move Left!" Rampone yelled from up top. Alex looked up to see Rapinoe making quick work of Carli midfield. She chipped the ball to Syd who took a quick touch and slotted the ball nicely through Brian. Alex thought it was a dead ball right to Ashlyn, her thoughts were cut short when she spots Press bolt in position from the left. Ashlyn dives for the ball but Press is a step too quick. She chips the ball over Ash easily and makes an impressive leap over the keeper to avoid collision. From that point it takes just one simple touch and it’s entirely too easy.

1-1. Equalized.

She only catches a glimpse of Kelley launching into her friends arms before Abby is already pulling her back to reset.

"Al, we need to flank the left side, while A-Rod draws Hope off her line to the right. Got it?"

"Yea I'm on it." Alex is already moving into place before her sentence is out. Dunn brings the ball up Forward and passes to Heath who's met one on one by Kriegs. The ball gets tossed back and forth in possession before finally getting passed to A-Rod who brings the ball up right. Abby bombs forward to her left, Alex is not far behind. The plan is working A-Rods position draws Hope off her line, Hope assuming Amy will make a shot on goal. A-Rod airs the ball to the middle, Hope scrambling back. The ball is a bit behind Abby but right in front of her; she jumps up and heads the ball towards the goal.

Only it doesn’t actually hit goal.

It’s just a few inches off frame and skirts past the goal post on the outside. She had missed a wide open header, not to mention her descent to the ground had been less than graceful. She swears she can hear her team deflate behind her as they move back into a defensive position.

"It’s alright Al, come on" Abby pats her on the back and she peels herself up with a face full of dirt.

It seems not even 5 minutes later her team is on the ropes. The other team has kept sole possession. She sees Rapinoe chip a ball to Carli up top who tries to head it in but is blocked by Ash. However Ashlyn doesn’t keep a hold on it, and Syd kicks it back midfield to Press. Alex pushes back towards her own goal for extra defending. Then _it_ happens.

Press pops the ball off her foot and absolutely rips it into the back of the net, high corner. Ashlyn didn’t stand a chance. It was the same shot she had seen from the girl before practice. Only this one wasn’t from outside the 6, but the 18. Alex can barely finish her thought.

"HOLY SHIT! PRESS!" Syd is screaming as she and the rest of her team is practically dog piling the girl. The look on Jill Ellis' face puts a shot of something she's not sure she wants to think about into her veins.

1- 2. She needs to get a goal.

The opportunity doesn’t make its way to her quite so easy. The other girls are still holding possession, Kriegs and Brian holding steady in the backline and Holiday pressuring everyone who dares come through the middle. It’s not long before a run starts up again. Press gets the ball on her left foot charging up forward, she manages to stave off both Brunn and Rampone. Ashlyn's made a mistake, she's way off her line and Alex knows Press will chip her effortlessly again.

Alex stills on the field, her thoughts turning to Press' impending practice scrimmage hat trick and the thought puts fire in her head. Deep down she feels like an asshole. She should at least be somewhat happy for her teammate shouldn’t she?

Press heads right towards Ash and chips the ball over the keeper and Alex knows its over, she ending this with-

_Wait._

She didn’t chip it forward towards goal. Alex realizes as she watches the ball slide right towards Syd, who takes a solid strike putting the ball right in the back of the net.

1-3.

She watches Sydney circle back to Press and embrace the Stanford girl. Alex stares dumbstruck at Christen, the girl gave up her hat trick for the safer bet. Chose her team over personal gain, Alex shrinks into her practice mesh a bit, she knows selfishly that she would have chosen the hat trick. Dawn Scott holds her white board up and chirps her whistle. 1 minute left it reads. They've got one last shot at a goal to at least lower the deficit.

One last shot.

Ashlyn punts the ball into the opposition, her and Abby sprint forward. The ball comes right at her foot and she can feel it. She's got pace, she's on side, and she’s on frame.

She's got this.

Alex takes a hard strike. The ball bombs forward right at the top left corner. Its right there, its-

**CLAP!**

Hope does what Hope does best. She makes an unbelievable save that puts the ball right over the top of the goal.

Game over. Dawn blows her whistle.

Hope walks out of her goal and shoots her a look that says "Nice try kiddo". Alex wants to believe it’s said in a sympathetic tone but the look is wrapped in one of Hopes signature bitch faces, so she can’t be too sure. Alex wonders for a moment if that's just her default face. But that’s neither here nor there. She stands in the middle of the field and looks across to the rest of the squad. Everybody (her own team included) is surrounding Christen; she was clearly the player of the game. Somewhere in the rational part of her brain she knows Press deserves the attention, she earned it. In this very moment however Alex is not being rational and all she feels is irritation.

**Stupid Crossbar. Stupid Header. Stupid Hope Shut-Out Solo.**

Ellis pats Christen on the back and whispers something that causes the Stanford alum to light up.

**Stupid Scrimmage. Stupid Practice. Stupid Injuries.**

She watches Hope give Christen a rare genuine smile and a hug and the forward grins something sly and wicked in return.

 ** _Stupid Press_** , with her _stupid goals_ , and her _pretty smile_ , and her _gorgeous eyes_ , and her _selfless attitude_ , and her _sexy grin_ , and-

_**Woah.** _

Alex can’t understand where that came from, and doesn’t want to. As if she wasn’t irritated enough, her subconscious seems to have decided that now was a good time to become a bit intrigued by the quiet girl. She needs this day to be over already, and she's so damn frustrated. She sees the ball lying on the ground next to her and it taunts her with all the days’ failures.

**Stupid Ball.**

She smashes her right foot into the object as hard as she can and for a split second it makes her feel a bit better. Until she hears the most sickening crunch she thinks she's ever heard, followed immediately by a shrill scream that sends chills up her spine.

The field is dead silent and she wants so desperately to keep her head down and rewind time, but she knows that she cant. She looks up and the first thing she sees is half the team looking at her with various expressions, shock being the most notable. The other half is hunched over someone. Abby moves to the side and Alex can feel her chest tightening. _Its Christen._

Her feet begin to move on their own accord as she moves toward the girl. The apology is fast and stuttering on her lips and her voice sounds quiet even though she knows she's speaking at level volume. She wills her voice to stop shaking. "Christen! Oh my god, I'm so sorry Jesus!" Alex can’t find the words.

"Christen, can you lift your head up sweetie" Christie is talking in soft words, and she reminds Alex of the nurses who took care of her when she was in college with a torn ACL. The comparison makes Alex nervous. Christen lifts her body to a kneeling position. The girl has her hands cupping her face and Alex (and she's sure the rest of them) is alarmed at the amount of blood seeping through her fingers. Joe the team physician barrels through them. He puts a gentle hand on Press' shoulder.

"Christen, I need you to gently move your hands away, okay" Press nods and slowly peels her hands away. The chorus of gasps and a low " _Damn_ " courtesy of Syd did nothing to help the situation. Blood poured from Christen nose like a faucet and Alex could feel hot bile rise in her throat. Joe helped Christen to her feet, her practice jersey already getting soaked. They escorted the girl to the complex before Alex could even start the words "I'm Sorry" again. She couldn’t bear the moment anymore and she starts towards the complex without a glance backwards.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Abby had joined her outside the coach’s office where Press was getting looked at. The rest of the team milled about idly popping in and out waiting for any news.

"Its going to be fine." Abby rubbed her shoulders "You didn’t mean it, it's an accident. It's a sport, accidents happen even in practice we all know that" They all knew that of course, and Alex knows they know. She supposes though it might not be appropriate to just casually shoot the shit with her at a time like this. Its definitely not cause they're mad or anything.

"They’re just worried about Press, but we all know she's fine and hey! Look at me" Abby whirls her face close and Alex looks up from the spot on the ground she'd been staring at. "It was just an accident, we all get frustrated. Press knows it too." She appreciated the way the older woman looked out for her. It made Alex feel better to know Abby was always going to have her back. Dawn opens the office door with Joe and Coach Jill behind her.

"My team is taking Christen up to the hospital" Joe announces and she can feel her teammates tense around her. "Don’t worry she's fine, her nose isn’t broken, but were having some issues stopping the bleeding. I assume it’s a ruptured blood vessel but its keeping us from knowing how severe the fracture is so I just want to be sure"

Alex breathes a slight sigh of relief. At least it’s not broken, but she assumes a fracture can’t be much fun either.

"I should come; she should have someone from the team with her." Christie speaking up. Alex feels grateful for Rampone, she truly was the mother and captain of this team. Jill nods her approval and Christie moves towards her and Abby.

"Abby would you and the other girls mind looking after Reece for a bit?"

"Absolutely, no problem"

"Thanks" Christie moves to follow Joe who is already walking to the exit for the car outside. Alex can’t stop herself.

"Can I come?" The staff turns to her a bit off guard at her request. She stands up. "I feel horrible and responsible, this is my fault. I-Can I come and just...see if she’s alright and apologize." Jill smiles and ushers her forward.

"Of course, go ahead"

Alex stands and falls in step next to Christie. She's suddenly hyper aware of the fact that this means she'll actually have to face Press, and will actually need something to say. They've talked and hung out before but she thinks this whole situation would be much easier and probably funnier had she smashed Syd in the face. It dawns on Alex that she has no gauge of how Christen will react towards her. Another popping reminder of how little she knows the other girl. She feels something flutter in her stomach thinking about the forward and she spends most of the car ride convincing herself its cause she feels guilty.

She feels guilty that’s all.

_Nothing else._

The second flutter real low in her stomach at the thought of light green eyes is just something she absolutely can not think about right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ran track and played Basketball all through highschool and college so I hope you guys forgive me on the practice scene. I just imagined that thats how a scrimmage in soccer goes. 
> 
> I had planned for a bit more interaction but I promise the rest of the Squad will intergrate into the story starting next chapeter. Now that the incident has taken place, expect the story to officially move in the direction of this odd pairing.
> 
> Next Chapter: Alex has to face Press. An awkward and intriguing convo. Also Alex decides to get the low down from Kelley.
> 
> Edit: I think my notes might be double posting so sorry for that. Not sure how to fix it


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anyone or anything but this story, cause owning people is slavery and slavery is bad, like really really bad.
> 
> Sorry for the wait guys! I took a 2 week long trip to New Orleans for Voodoo Fest, and to visit family, probably should have mentioned that. Im sorry I left you guys hanging, Im not abandoning this story if thats what you thought. In hindsight I probably should have started this story after my trip but lol Im back so hopefully yall enjoy this new chapter.

The waiting room in the hospital was pretty quiet and Alex was grateful for the silence. Christie had stepped out for a sec to talk with her daughter on the phone, leaving Alex to her thoughts.

To say she was a little perplexed by the day she was having would be an understatement. Letting her competitive nature get the best of her was not the issue, she is and always has been a bit of a hothead were competition is concerned. It was a running joke amongst the team to never invite Alex to game night. No that wasn’t the issue.

The issue was sitting in hospital room 204, right down the hall.

Alex couldn’t process the sudden confusing newfound interest and it was driving her insane. From the moment she took good notice of the girl that morning it was like she was the only thing in focus for Alex, and as a result Alex _sent her to the Hospital_.

Yea she was over this.

A light bulb turned on in her head. Yes it made sense now, you see Christen had been rising in recognition these days. Among the fans, and the team, that was it! Before this point Christen simply had not been noticeable. Alex rationalized her struggle; the other girl was simply new competition that came at a vulnerable moment for Alex. The part she still couldn’t rationalize however was the bit of attraction that came with the Stanford girl.

Alex had always thought women were attractive sure, she thinks most of her team is hot and she tells them that all the time. It's never been an issue and Alex is mine thinking women are attractive she was a firm believer love is love it everyone should be free to do so with no judgment. Problem is Alex has never felt that way herself and wasn't quite sure how what to make of the slight chill that runs up her spine whenever she thinks of Christens eyes. She had Servando after all, she was marrying the guy. She can’t get crushes on other people, especially a woman that she barely knows.

_Well...Servando._

So there was a distance growing between the two lately. Alex was so sure that saying yes to the proposal was the right thing to do, she loves Servando she really did. Being with him though no longer excited her the way it used to. There was a time where all she needed was the sound of his voice to send her heart racing and a warmth would spread over her and she’d know she was home. Alex had been feeling less and less warmth and eventually even when she saw him her heart stayed steady. She couldn’t let him go though, they had spent so much time together, he knew her better than anyone and she loved him. Alex wasn’t one for fairytales and she had a hard time believing in magic, this was what happened in life.

You stay with someone long enough and the fairytale dies, every couple goes through this.

Alex couldn’t imagine her life with out him; he had been in her blueprints for so long. As practical as she could be, she had felt like something was missing between them, she just wasn't sure what that was. Her head felt heavy and her thoughts began to swim. It was all too much to deal with right now and she needed to focus on what she could control, saying sorry to Christen was first and foremost. She had to make sure the girl didn't think that you done this on purpose.

She would never.

Christie returned from outside and hung up the phone; she gave a comforting smile to Alex before taking a seat next to her. Jill and Joe sat across the waiting room having a quiet discussion amongst themselves.

The doctor appeared and all four of them stood immediately

"Are you guys the teammates of Christen press?"

“Yes these two are teammates, her coach Jill Ellis, and I’m head of the medical staff Joe Kilmer. So what's the situation” Joe replied

“The situations not too bad, she has a broken blood vessel at the base of her nasal passage which was the cause of the immense bleeding. There is a slight angel hair fracture at the bridge of her nose. That being said, she should be fine, completely healed in about 3 to 4 weeks but she's just going to have to be careful with it.

"How does this affect her playing would you recommend she sit out any playing time? We have a game in 2 days." Alex looked towards Jill. Alex hoped Christen was fine to play. She wouldn't forgive herself if she was to cause anybody else another reason to miss valuable game time; she knows good and well how frustrating that feels.

“While I would like her to rest I understand her profession, If she’s up to it she should be fine, it's only a angel fracture and as long as no more objects hit her directly in the face, I think she'll be in perfect condition. You guys are free to visit her if you'd like.”

Joe gives the doctor a firm handshake and nods to Jill as they make their way into Christen room. Alex hangs back with Christine who puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Glad to know everything is okay”

Alex can only simply nod, the relief that floods through her is far stronger than she expected. For the first time since she kicked that ball Alex can actually breathe. The last time she felt such panic for someone other than her self was when Servando broke his leg sophomore year pre-season, she tries not to dwell on the fact for too long, all its was going to do was make her head hurt again.

After what seems about three hours to Alex but more likely was only 20 minutes Jill and Joe return from the room and Christie makes her way inside. She's only in there for second but Alex knows that that's all she needs to deliver the uplifting words that Rampone is known for. That's why she's the captain after all she always knows what to do and what to say.

Christie comes out of the room and Alex knows it's her turn she doesn’t have to look to know everybody is waiting for her to go. She takes a deep breath and gets up. She can do this it's nothing, just say you're sorry. Her feet feel suspiciously heavier as she makes her way to the room. She's trying to work out what to say in her mind but right now it's just all blank.

She steels herself and opens the door.

The first thing she notices is an empty bed, the sheets are mused and there is bloody clothing piled on the bedside chair, but no sign of Christen. The sound of running water faintly starts up behind Alex in the bathroom. The forward briefly debates with herself whether she should just walk out and come back in when Press is out of there. She decides against it she’s being ridiculous. Alex sways from one foot to the other nervously as she waits for the other girl.

Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz.

She’s broken out of her daze by the sound. She listens for the source, feeling around her own hoodie pockets before looking at the bedside stand. Christens phone rings, and she glances at the caller ID.

_Ryan_

There’s no contact picture, just a name and Alex briefly wonders who it is. Its probably just family checking up on her. She briefly remembers an instagram picture of Christen and a younger boy, perhaps this was her brother. Alex wonders how much more of a hothead she would have been if she had brothers. The thought makes her chuckle, that would be truly to much to handle.

Alex is so caught up in her thoughts she doesn’t hear the bathroom door open behind her.

“Alex?”

Alex nearly jumps out her skin at the sound, because while she was here for the girl her own thoughts had quickly taken over and she was not prepared, but when her eyes finally come to rest on the brunette her eyes widen slightly and her mouth drops open a little because _shit._

Christen stood in front of Alex in nothing but tiny shorts and a sports bra. Her hair fell in loose waves around her face and her skin was glistening, a result of washing off the dried blood. You’d think Alex had never seen a teammate in so little before but they had not looked like Christen.

 _No._ _Definitely not._

Christens body was surprisingly not as muscle defined as the rest of the team, but it was extremely toned and soft. Alex quickly figured it was a result of her outside training. She wasn’t gym rat like the rest of them; more preferred doing natural exercise like Yoga, swimming, and hiking. She could see muscle definition in the girl’s abs but unlike Alex who was all hard edges, there were womanly curves that accentuated the girls figure. Her gaze fluttered upward and landed on her eyes. Those light green eyes.

_Those eyes would kill her she was sure of it._

“Alex?” Christen asks, a slight drawl to her words.

“I… yes.” It’s not her most eloquent response, and she prays to every deity there is that her face is not ruby red even though she’s sure the tips of her ears must be on fire. Christen stares back at the girl and Alex sees confusion in her eyes, but there’s also a hint of something dangerous that takes Alex off guard. She must be imagining things and looks down to clear her head. She misses the faint smirk that ghosts across Christens lips. “Sorry, I came to say I was sorry”

“Oh!” The surprise that flits across Christens face is enough to surprise Alex herself. Did she think she wouldn’t apologize? The slight hurt on Alex’s face must register with Christen as she steps closer. “Sorry I just meant I wasn’t expecting you here.” The girls voice is light and airy and makes Alex light headed.

“I thought I should come its my fault that you’re here and I just wanted you to know that I’m incredibly sorry, I was having a rough day and I’m still trying to bounce back from this ankle thing, and had I known you were there I wouldn’t have kicked the ball, and-”

“Whoa, Alex” The rambling girl looked up from her apology. Christen chuckled slightly then winced a bit only then did Alex take note of the deep bright red slash on the bridge of the other girls nose. It was from where the ball made impact and Alex felt her heart sink that she had done something to damage the girls previously perfect face.

“Take a breath; I know you didn’t mean it. I never thought you did, accidents happen” Christen gives her a dazzling smile that seems to light up the room. She watches as the girl moves past her to the chair where next to the soiled clothes lies a fresh T-Shirt and track pants. Alex this time has the decency to turn away and give the girl some privacy but not before catching a good look at the Stanford’s smooth lean back, that makes Alex long to reach out and touch her, to run her hands along every inch it her and _god_ , she’s starting to wonder _how she’d never noticed this girl._

She hears Christen shift onto the bed and she turns to face her. She doesn’t know what to do now and she teeters uncomfortably on her back heels. Christen looks at her with a soft gaze that Alex struggles to read.

“Thank you for coming though.”

“It’s no problem”

Alex found herself moving closer to the girl on her own accord. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” Christen sat up a little straighter for Alex’s incoming question.

“How come you don’t hang out with us much at camp?” By us she was referring to her, Syd, and Rapinoe, and she hoped Christen filled in the blanks.

“How come _you_ never hang out with me?” While she didn’t present the question loaded, Alex suddenly felt the imaginary pistol spin in her direction and she was at a lost for words.

“…Touché”

Christen laughed lightly “I’m just kidding, but maybe we should all hang out sometime more often”

“Yea we should” Alex responded.

“Although, I have to admit, I’m a little intimidated by Hope” Alex laughed a genuine hearty laugh at that.

“Don’t worry were all intimidated by Hope, we just try and act cool and pretend we're not. In fact if your not Syd, Abby, or Carli you’re definitely just acting cool”

“Or Kelley.”

“Kelley?” Alex wasn’t sure what was meant by that but the Cheshire grin on Press’ face told her maybe she should start paying more attention to the goalkeeper and her friend.

Before anymore could be said a familiar buzzing rang through the air. It was Christens phone again, Alex’s eyes immediately went to the phone and she was greeted with déjà vu.

_Ryan_

Christen picked up the phone and a smile like Alex had yet to see appeared on the girls face. Alex spoke without thought. “Your brother has been trying to reach you for a while now.”

Christen looked up at Alex a crease formed between her eyebrows as she stared at Alex quizzically.

“I don’t have a brother…”

“Oh, I'm sorry I thought I heard that you had one or something” Alex looked sheepishly in the opposite direction.

“No, just two sisters” Christen gave a lighthearted chuckle. “This is definitely not my sister”

It wasn’t the words that she said, but it was how she said it. There was a deep drawl to Christens voice that shot something icy right into her throat. It was the way her eyes glazed over as her finger hovered over the talk button before finally ignoring the call. And Alex doesn't want to admit it, doesn't even want to  _think_ it, but deep down she knows that, despite everything she’s been trying to ignore concerning Christen, that there's the feeling of jealousy churning within her gut. Because whoever is on the other end of that phone means something to Christen, something like Servando _should_ mean to her.

Something that Christen _shouldn’t_.

And she just needs to get  _out_ of there, all of a sudden, can't handle all these confusing thoughts and emotions. She needs to put some space in between them, a truly grand idea considering only moments ago she invited the girl to spend more time with her.

Smart Alex.

She’s saved from her thoughts when she hears a knock at the door.

“Come in” Christens finally looked up from her phone. Jill, Joe, & Christie enter the room. Joe informs them that the car is ready to take Alex, Christie, and Jill back to the camp facility. Joe was going to stay with Christen as the Doc wanted to apply some more medicine to the cut atop Christens nose.

Alex takes her chance and runs with it. She says a low quick goodbye to Christen who quickly waves back despite the abruptness of Alex’s actions.

She can feel Christie eye-ing her suspiciously from the back seat of the car but Alex stares out the window counting the trees passing by. Anything to keep her mind off Christen, her conflicting feelings, Servando.

She decides half way back, that we don’t plant nearly enough trees and that _Ryan_ _is a really stupid name._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shits getting real.
> 
> So next chapter: Alex goes to Kelley for a little insight on Press ;)
> 
> Ill be getting that chapter up ASAP. I want to make up for how long I made you guys wait.


	4. IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! how fucking wild.

“So what’s the deal with Christen?”

Alex for the most part tries to make that as casual as possible. Her roommate looked up from her book, confusion as clear as the freckles on her face. Alex was finding herself in unfamiliar territory and needed answers and possibly backup. This is why she was coming to the only source of help she could find for her…situation.

One Kelley O’Hara.

They had won their friendly against Australia 3-nil. A solid victory that should have had Alex glowing since one of those goals miraculously belonged to her. Instead however she found her night bittersweet and the reason was frustrating her to no end.

Christen had been cleared to play upon returning from the hospital and everything appeared to be all good. The team was happy knowing she was okay and Alex felt herself breathe just a bit easier seeing the forward laughing along with the others at dinner, but of course good things never last long. The next day at practice was met with a fast run and an ill timed tackle from Krieger that had Press on the ground and the return of the world’s worst bloody nose. Joe had decided that the risk of any additional damage to the forwards face was not worth it, she was out of practice and definitely out of the game. She had once again felt that tight clench of guilt flare up in her system that had her missing passes for the rest of practice. So when she managed a perfectly timed run and a brilliant strike against Australia’s back line to make it 2-nil she should have been ecstatic. The first sign that she was shaking off the rust accumulated during her injury, but she couldn’t enjoy it. Not when all she could see was Christen.

Cheering in the stands. Nike sweats and a jacket. _Denied the chance to even suit up._

Suddenly the moment didn’t feel as good as it should have.

That was the bittersweet part.

The frustration was that it was now 3 days later and she still couldn’t get the other forward out her _damn_ head. She doesn’t think she’s ever been so aware of another persons presence as she suddenly was Christens. The girl was everywhere, all the time, and Alex noticed it all.

 **Where she sat**. _Who she talked to_. Every time she **_fucking_** smiled.

It was driving her insane and the worst part, she still didn’t understand why. She figures its gotta be the intrigue, the fact that the girl was a certified mystery to her, she had always been fond of puzzles and this was no different, and like all puzzles you were only satisfied when it was solved. So she had set out to find KO. The Stanford alum was probably the only one on this national team that really “knew” Press. She had heard plenty of times that they were Stanford’s magic duo on the pitch and bonds like that are hard to break.

She just wanted to figure this thing out before their next destination, then maybe she could finally get back to her game and focus on getting back on top. To do that she needed to be 100% focused and get past…whatever the hell this was.

And that’s how she finds herself in her room across from Kelley, trying to ask this dumb question as casual as possible.

“…what?” Kelley’s response is lethargic and confused.

And yea she’ll admit that definitely wasn’t the smoothest way to approach it but she’s decidedly off her game til further notice so she’s just running it.

“I mean, just like what’s happening with her. You know is she feeling better? And stuff…” she trails off picking the lint from her bed sheet.

KO’s eyes soften at Alex.

“Are you still thinking about the nose thing? Because trust me Al when I say she’s fineeeee!” KO ever so enthusiastic reaches over and lightly shoves Alex before continuing.

“She’s not mad, she doesn’t even blame you, and seriously it’s not a big deal. I cant believe you’re still worried about that” the girl chuckling as she stops.

 “You know its not just that Kell’s” Alex leans back and crosses her arms, her defenses coming out at her friends laughter. “I literally know nothing about her and you know it doesn’t look like she’s going anywhere anytime soon! So I don’t really like the idea of being completely in the dark about someone I might have to start pairing up with. Especially this close to Canada”

Alex huffs but also gives herself a mental pat on the back because for the most part judging by the stunned look on Kell’s face and the surrender in her body language, she seems to believe her concerned explanation. Which is great because she’d really rather not mention how she also wants to know exactly how many shades of green and hazel Christens eyes are, or why every time she smiles she feels nervous all over.

Or how she spent last night wondering if her body feels as soft as it looked that day in the hospital…

God _help_ her.

Kelley fixes her with a weird stare that Alex can’t quite decipher before she responds. “You could always just, I don’t know, talk to her and get to know her the old fashion way. I hear that’s a thing people do but you know I can’t be to sure” Alex could practically see the sarcasm dripping off every word and shoots her friend a glare.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start. This is what I mean Kell’s I have no gauge on her, please KO just make this easier for me, give me the cliff notes yea?”

Her desperation must be somewhat apparent because KO finally closes her book, sits up and relents.

“Alright, what do you want to know?”

Alex leans forward with new found interest.

“Okay well for starters, what’s her deal? I mean she doesn’t ever actively seem to wanna hang with any of us as a group. Is she shy? Doesn’t do well in large social groups or what?”

Kelley takes a moment before answering. “She’s not shy she’s just lowkey I guess. Chris has never been a big partier, it was pretty much hell trying to get her to go to anything I swear! Oh my god in fact there was this one time” Kelley breaks into a genuine chuckle. “There was one time where me and her roommate Hannah we tried to-“

Alex cant help but grin at the girl in front of her as she goes off into her reminiscent college tale, face filled with nostalgia. These were the thing Alex loved most about this life of sports. Friendships can start from peewee teams to division I schools and they could stand the test of time no matter what team you played for. These were the things Alex lived for.

“-So then were dragging the ice chest out to the hall when Ryan comes busting through the party like-“

Wait.

Ryan.

Alex’s attention immediately refocuses back to Kelley. There’s that name again, it causes that small wave of jealousy that Alex had been denying since she left the hospital. She had no reason to even entertain that feeling. One because she **_should not be jealous_** of anything relating to Press and two she didn’t even know if it was something to be **_not jealous_** about. Despite her logic though she cant help but wonder.

And curiosity killed the cat.

“Who’s Ryan?”

Kelley stops, a little lost at the interruption. “Sorry what?”

“You mentioned Ryan”

“Yea so?" No relevance dawning on Kelley.

“Well when I was with her at the hospital, her phone kept ringing it was a “Ryan” trying to get a hold of her. I thought it was family maybe but-“

“Wait.”

Alex looks at her friend and is met with wide eyes and an open mouth and she suddenly gets the feeling that she might have just revealed something although she has no idea what that is.

“Shut the fuck up, Ryan is calling her again? Did she pick up? What did she say?”

“Ummmm” She doesn’t quite know how to handle this barrage of questions. “She didn’t pick up but she seemed like maybe she wanted to”

“Oh my god, why hasn’t she told me” there’s a crease forming between KO’s eyes and she jumps in before the mid is lost in her thoughts.

“So is Ryan an ex-boyfriend or something? Or just one of your friends”

“Something like that, _she_ is definitely more than a friend though”

_She._

Alex feels her heartbeat increase and takes a breath. _She_. **SHE.**

 _More than a friend_.

So christen was into girls. Alex felt something flutter hard within her and suddenly this conversation didn’t feel so smart anymore, in fact quite the opposite. This talk was supposed to absolve her curiosity for the other girl but this one revelation, this one unknown detail had knocked her off balance.

She hops off the bed like its burned her and when Kelley looks at her like she’s grown a second head, she excuses herself to the bathroom and doesn’t stop to think about the fact that she’s leaving the room when there is a bathroom literally inside.

She doesn’t know what she’s feeling.

 _She does not._ _Know what this is._

Except that she does and that is what’s scaring her.

She found out this girl, which she can’t get out of her head, that has no business in her head is into girls.

And the first thing she felt was _excitement_.

 

What the fuck Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are people even still checking for this. I have forsaken you!
> 
> So I'm truly sorry if this chapter is a bit off the flow from the others. I'm trying to get back into the feel and style of this story because that's what happens when you decide to get serious with you last semesters for your degree and so your fic falls by the wayside.
> 
> Im sorry for those who actaully like this story, but Im getting back to writing again (but Im not gonna post false promises again)
> 
> next chap is finally the beginning of the constant Press/Alex interactions (im gonna just really try to not wait nearly a year to give it to you)


	5. V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this is just fantastical imaginations at play I own no one.
> 
> Also one slight little warning this chapter is just the tiniest bit explicit in parts.

She feels like she’s on fire.

And it feels so _fucking_ good.

She’s gripping the sheets so hard she swears she can physically feel the blood draining from her knuckles. She’s struggling to keep her legs open and a soft but firm hand is more than willing to grip her legs further apart. Alex looks down to the sheet casually obscuring the person currently nestled in between her thighs. The one currently working her into a frenzy, scraping gentle blunt nails across her stomach, doing that thing…

You know _that thing_ ,

With their tongue,

That feels _so **fucking** good_

She squeezes her eyes shut tight; trying to get a grip on all these sensations she’s feeling at once. She can hear herself breathing far too hard, more than sure she must look wrecked from the outside. Her hips jerk up to particularly impressive set of words this person is reciting right where she needs them most. She feels those hands grip just that much tighter to hold her down and she’ll gladly welcome the black and blue fingerprints that will surely litter her waist. She reaches her hand down toward the other, searching for something grasp that’s a bit more solid. Her fingers find a soft and plush head of hair, one that if she was thinking more clearly (or if she could think at all because _damn_ this person is talented) would have notice smelled faintly of honey. She clutches the hair tight in her hand to keep herself grounded in the moment and urging for more. Her person seems spurred on by the moment and responds with enthusiasm, pushing her legs back just a slight bit more.

Her eyes are hazy and she can’t quite register the worlds that tumble out her mouth but she’s positive they’re desperate and begging.

She’s so _close_ , and she feels like she hasn’t had a proper bout of sex in ages. So all it takes is a few more choice strokes of the tongue and another drag of those nails on her over sensitive skin to send her crashing over the edged with a string of obscenities and stars bursting behind her eyelids.

Her person ( _lover at this point she muses_ ) leaves soft, feather kisses on the insides of her thighs, massaging her hips lightly to coax her down from her orgasm. Alex can feel her world slowly coming back in focus as the other starts placing kisses on her stomach making their way up. She can’t shake the lazy fucked grin forming on her face, when they make it up to her neck, she laughs at the tickling sensation. She brings her hands up to the soft brown hair reveling in how long it is…

Her eyes flutter open as she runs her fingers down its length. It’s far too long and far too soft and _wavy._

The other begins to lift up and she can feel her heart rate speed up almost dangerously, she wants to look away pretend she doesn’t have to see but her hopes are dashed when this person straddles on top of her and looks down.

With light green eyes.

And she should be freaking out, should shove the girl off her but when Christen leans down, head dipping to hers, with that dazzling smile on her face, she waits.

And when soft lips meet hers, she lets them and responds.

And she thinks she really doesn’t mind this.

And her hands move from her hair to her hips and trace the waistband of the girl’s shorts.

And-

**KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!**

 

* * *

She had always thought the dramatic fall-out-of-bed-when-you’re-startled-awake thing was just extra acting put on for film and TV, but a face full of hotel carpet is proving her otherwise.

Her heart is beating faster than she’s sure any medical professional would be okay with and she doesn’t quite have a clear grasp on what part of the earth she’s even on at the moment.

It was Christen.

She just had a sex dream, a very pleasing sex dream, about her teammate.

She’s mortified, panicked; angry, confused, and shell shocked all at once. Her mind betrays her and flashes back to the image of the forward between her legs and really how sexy someone can look crawling up from there knees. _Shit._ She shakes her head violently as if she can physically dislodge the thoughts from her mind. The last thing she needs on top of everything else is an embarrassing bout of arousal (and if she’s being honest, its already there)

**KNOCK! KNOCK!**

The sound startles her for a 2nd time and there’s a high probability she will kill whoever is behind that door if she doesn’t go into cardiac arrest first.

“Yo Al wake up! You’ve been sleeping forever I’m starving bitch!”

Syd’s voice creeps through the door as Alex pushes her self off the floor. She smoothes down her hair and tries to cool herself down in the 3 seconds it takes to get to the door. She’s barely tapped the handle down before Syd bust through almost taking the door and Alex with her.

“What is going on? are you dying or something? You said a quick nap! Let’s go get some lunch with the girls.” Syd rambles her way all the way to her roommate’s bed before hopping on with a plop.

She wonders if she can make a break for the bathroom while Syd’s being dramatic but life seems to not care about anything that she wants. Syd stops when she finally takes notice of how disheveled she looks and she’s guessing her attempt at cooling down was thoroughly unsuccessful.

“Are you okay?”

“Yea! I’m fine just you kind of startled me” She puts in her best smile but Syd doesn’t look convinced.

“You’re like dripping with sweat right now…and you’re red…are you sure you’re not coming down with something?” Syd walks over to her and places a hand on her head and Alex really just can’t be in close proximity to her friend right now. Not when she knows good and well that the flush on skin is because she’s still coming down from a post narcoleptic orgasm and this whole thing is far too weird for her comfort. So she quickly shrugs away from Syd’s hand and concern and wills her body under control before she looks like a full tomato.

“I’m good Syd, I was-I just…had a Nightmare!” Syd is still looking at her with concern so she goes with it. “Yea funny thing, Dawn was chasing me through the Amazon with a clipboard and a timer so I’m just a little troubled by it all”

Syd cracks all the way up from the ridiculous story and Alex is glad her brain is functioning at a basic normal rate again.

“Oh my god! What the fuck is that, you gotta stop drinking Gatorades before bed Al”

Alex doesn’t hesitate to capitalize on the momentary distraction.

“I know right, look I’m just gonna hop in the shower real quick and I’ll meet you downstairs in a sec yea?”

Syd is still laughing as Alex moves closer to the bathroom door and gives her a thumbs up as she cackles her way out of the hotel room. The moment the door clicks Alex collapses against the door. Her mind is in a thousand different places and refuses to stop at any one them. She can’t think about this now, not about the dream or the scary and fragile cracks this is inflicting on her ( _what she thought_ ) locked in sexuality. That is a big question she’s nowhere near ready to address and probably shouldn’t because its only going to lead back to a place where she’s gripping damp bed sheets and begging for release and _fuck_ she’s never been more eager for an ice bath in her life.

 

* * *

 

She walked down the hallway to the Lobby feeling refreshed and back to herself. 15 minutes under the ice cold spray of her shower had splashed some clarity back into her and she felt she could breathe easier. She knew she had to start thinking critically about this situation she was in but it wasn’t easy, she had at least resolved to admitting that yes she was attracted to the forward but she had resolved to something else as well.

She actually sort of hated Christen.

Yes she’s aware that hate is a very strong word and that in all honesty very unwarranted as she was the problem in the situation between them (that was all but non existent to the Stanford girl).

But yes Alex kind of hates her.

Last night they had played Costa Rica, they were 3 games out from the end of this camp and a small but welcome break before the media tour surrounding the World Cup. Sydney and Christen had started last night, a result of Jill’s run of experimental up top possibilities.

She was still feeling the pressure and the hot wave of selfish disappointment, which she was not immediately on the board as a starter. She knows that everyone thinks her start is guaranteed based off built upon hype of the last World Cup and Olympics but it wasn’t. She’s not stupid she could see Jill’s frustration at the lack of finishing on her end and the big magic Abby/Alex team up was crumbling. Abby was not where she used to be, the veteran was becoming slow and lethargic and the combination of the two up top at this moment was doing more harm than good. So she was “just giving everyone some time and testing” but Alex knew that was just a nice way of saying “you two are no longer cutting it lets see who else is up to the challenge”.

They were.

Sydney and Christen up top last night had been an explosion. Sydney’s raw speed and aggression blazed through the defense, caught up with every ball, and was not afraid to take a challenge. When Syd found herself on the outside with no ground to cover she would make a quick pass to Christen who Alex was learning was a very special type of beast.

Christens style of play was so different than anything she’s ever really seen. The girl was calculated and patient with the ball, she rarely looked for a combination attack. Instead the girl analyzed the defenders in front of her and made flawless touches in between them for the shot. When she finally was in good position she read her goal keeper and slotted perfect goals to the back of the net. The two together as a forward team were yin and yang, opposites but in sync. Syd practically bowling through the defense and forcing goals by sheer beast will, while Christen effectively outsmarts entire backlines for smooth finishes. The combination was dizzying to watch so she could only imagine how frustrating defending against that must be. All in all they walked away with 6 goals to nil. 2 from Syd, 1 from Carli (because it’s Carli) and a hat trick from Press.

The team was energized; our backline was a concrete wall with impressive additions from Kling and the new girl Johnston. Hope was still on a shutout run. Carli and Lauren putting in solid work midfield and for the first time in a while it felt like our forwards were living up to the reputation. The excitement from Jill made her cringe.

The weird thing is that she’s actually extremely happy. She’s not a total selfish control freak; all of this is a great push for the big goal. The World Cup trophy, the ultimate championship.

She was ecstatic for Syd; she just thought it would be her alongside the girl. I mean this was her comeback story wasn’t it? Her chance at redemption after having the cup ripped from her fingertips 4 years ago. This just wasn’t the turn of events she saw her 2nd chance going in and it conflicts her. Christen had been making waves outside this bubble as well. The girl flew in from Sweden and practically single handedly vamped the Chicago Red Stars offense from the ground up. Portland may still have been the biggest name in NWSL along with her but it was hard to ignore the blue and red jerseys slowly creeping into social media with 23 on the back.

So yea in the most childish of ways Alex kind of hates her.

And yea her own subconscious thinks the lady doth protest too much, but honestly.

Her subconscious can go fuck itself.

She makes her way to the Lobby and sees Syd with Ashlyn, Kriegs, Rapinoe and A-Rod and is immediately excited to get a day to herself with the girls. Dawn had implemented this new rule where after games just a quick 2 hour morning recovery and the players would have the rest of the day to do whatever and decompress. It was definitely the nicest thing she had ever done for them.

“Oh good you’re alive! I almost thought you drowned up there” Syd immediately stands up like she’s been waiting 3 hours instead of 20 minutes.

“HA-HA relax drama queen I’m here. So where are we going?”

“Um Amy found this incredible sushi spot on her food app so yea” Kriegs replies with a smile.

“Okay cool lets go” She starts to head towards the before Ash stops her.

“Oh hold on were just waiting for KO and-“ Ash doesn’t have to finish her sentence because right at that moment Kelley walks out the hall and Christen walks out right behind her.

Alex feels her stomach drop and she’s not sure if it’s out of dread or excitement but probably both. Christen is dressed in black cut off shorts and a simple white t-shirts and black boots, she cant stop herself from taking a glance at the smooth tan legs of the forward, Christens hair is down today in natural loose waves and Alex can swear she faintly still feels those brown locks through her fingers and tickling her thighs.

She turns away immediately and right out the door.

The rest of the group she guesses thinks nothing of it or writes it off as hunger because she can hear them following behind her laughing and enjoying the day, which is what she should be doing rather than having a mild panic attack. She feels a hand clap on her shoulder and startles a bit.

“Whoa jumpy are we” she looks to her side to find KO grinning at her.

“Seems so today. What’s up?”

“Nothing you were just looking a little lonely charging forward by yourself, by the way here’s your chance” Kelley says while playing with her phone.

“Chance for what?”

“To get to know Chris, remember you bombarded me with your concerns about newbie’s and chemistry or whatever.”

“Oh…yea” She looks back and sees the girl in question in what looks to be a very animated conversation with Ashlyn. She furrows her brow a bit because she never really noticed how much of apparent friends the two were and yes she’s quite aware of the relationship between Ali and Ash but she’s also quite aware of Ashlyn’s arm slung around Christen.

She’s also very aware of how much she doesn’t like it.

"Hey this is it!” Amy moves past them into a small but classy Japanese restaurant. The blonde had called ahead so they had reservations for the big booth table in the back where they wouldn’t be bothered. The team moved to their seats and got settled, she puts her bag on her chair next to Syd and looks up to see Christen taking the spot directly in front of her. She was hoping that she would be able to fade the girl out during the course of the meal but now she knows there’s no chance of that.

They order and all fall into an easy chat, the table slowly dissolves into more energy and laughter at dual stories coming from Syd and Rapinoe obviously. Alex tries hard not too but her attention gets pulled toward the Stanford girl who is currently laughing at the dramatics of her team.

She’s so gorgeous.

Alex can feel her lips quirk upward despite her best efforts. Its impossible the girl is infectious, she always seems so happy and humble it makes Alex feel shitty about the negativity she harbors. Something catches her eye though and a quick glance up to be sure Christen hasn’t noticed, and when she’s in the clear she focuses a bit harder. She sees a small sliver of silver skin right on the bridge of Press’ nose; it’s a permanent reminder of what Alex did. While she’s actually forgiven herself and gotten over it, she feels a sensation pull in her chest that Christen has a piece of her forever.

“Something on my face?” The softness of the voice shocks Alex back into reality and at this point she’s almost waiting on her inevitable heart attack to just come and take her now.

She looks up and Christen is looking at her sweetly and slightly amused. She feels like the air has been sucked out of her lungs immediately. She hadn’t had a one on one conversation with the other girl since her apology at the hospital and she was having trouble willing her voice out. She takes a quick glance at the table and realizes the rest are still deeply invested in whatever story Syd is telling, so she brings her attention back to Christen.

“Sorry for staring, I just noticed your scar” she taps the top of her own nose to clarify.

Christens hand instinctively reaches for the small cut before smiling.

“Yea this little thing doesn’t want to go away it seems”

“I’m sorry about that again”

“Don’t be it’s kind of nice” The sentiment confuses Alex but Christens face is pulled in a childlike grin that she doesn’t understand.

“What? How is that nice” she’s surprised by the easiness of her tone.

“Because I don’t get them that often” Alex can feel her self growing more confused by the second so much so that it causes Press to laugh and continue. “I play kind of low-key and safe so I rarely get hurt, but when I was younger playing soccer, the boys used to say I wasn’t that good because of course late elementary school logic says if you don’t have scars you aren’t playing hard enough. So every time I get a new scar it feels like a small validation for awkward 11 year old Press”

Alex smiles at the story, because its honestly so elementary school boy typical it amuses her to no end. She takes a good look at the girl, so genuinely adorable and sweet she decides right then and there whatever personal crisis she’s going through shouldn’t be taken out on her. “You had a great game yesterday by the way, congrats on that”

Christen looks a bit sheepish and the light blush creeping on her tan skin makes Alex want to see more.

“Thanks I guess I was just feeling it a bit” ever so humble this one. “But honestly I’ve been feeling a little useless lately so it was nice to finally contribute again” Alex feels slightly thrown. The girl had been kicking ass and she’d only missed one game which wasn’t even her fault. How she could possibly be feeling anything other than necessary to this team baffled her. She wanted to figure this girl out but it felt harder to do so every moment.

“Can I ask you a question” She decided to go about it the old fashion way. Christen nods at her to go on. “How are you so easy going about everything? I mean you just told me you’ve been feeling a little out but I swear you’d never know it or anything” Christen quirks an eyebrow at the random question. Alex figures she might as well open up a bit to excuse her weirdness. “I’m just curious because I never seem to be able to tamper my frustration” she gives a nervous chuckle.

“I haven’t always been this way. I used to be wayyy more…I just came to a point where I chose happiness. Does that make any sense” It doesn’t really but Alex can tell that this is not as easy of a topic as she assumed it would be so she decides to lighten the topic.

“One more question” Christens face returns to wary amusement

“Okay”

“How much did it suck going to _Stanford_ ” Christens eyes light up and she breathes out an exasperated chuckle that slaps a shit eating grin right on Alex’s face before responding. “How much did it suck going to _Cal_ ”

“Oh you wish you went to Berkeley!”

“To be a bear no thank you”

“Says the girl who’s mascot is literally a Christmas tree” The look on Christens face is worth everything in this moment and the other girl can do nothing to deny the sting.

“So we had a unique mascot, were still the better school”

“Oh really? How so?”

“Were ranked #1 in the nation, what’s Berkeley like #20 or something” Alex laughs hard because of course she’d be the academic and pull out the legitimate stats. “So what was your Major anyway?”

Alex leans back in her seat a bit. “Political Economy” she thinks that maybe an hour ago she’d be annoyed at how surprised Christen looks at her answer but she’s decided the girl shouldn’t be punished for her issues and she’s not naïve to the fact that she doesn’t immediately strike as the type to want to do politics. “I just wanted to know more about how everything works, I already don’t like the idea of people making decisions for me so I just wanted to see what goes into it, ya know learn all the facts” The control freak in her has been a pretty constant thing she muses.

“That’s interesting, but it fits you” Christen shoots her an impressed smile that makes Alex sit just the slightest bit straighter.

“So what about you?”

“It’s really not special, just communications”

“Why is that not special?”

“We called it the slack major, for people who can’t quite figure out what they want to do” Press looks a lot less proud then Alex likes and she wants to tell her to fuck that thought process because she graduated from Stanford University and that is a fucking valid accomplishment.

“Well I’m sure most people in the world would love a slack degree from #1 ranked Stanford and if not knowing what they want to do leads to becoming one of the best professional athletes in the world, I guess I didn’t know what I wanted to do either” The smile that she’s rewarded with from the other girl makes her feel like she might have won a championship she didn’t even know she was competing for.

“What’s your favorite time of day?” Alex laughs at how random this conversation has become. “What” Christen is still beaming at her “you just asked me 21 questions I should get some in shouldn’t I?”

“Hmm,” Alex thinks for just a moment before answering. “Surprisingly the morning. Right after the sun rises. When there’s still dew on the flowers and all the birds are chirping. Perfect time for a run”

She figures Christen of all people can appreciate the love for calm and quiet world.

“Where is your favorite place to be?” She’s finding herself really enjoying this back and forth and if their team is feeling neglected (which she’s positive Pinoe and Syd are _still_ telling stories) they ignore it. She’s sure she noticed Kelley eyeing the two out the corner of her eye but she didn’t acknowledge.

“At home with my family, and my dogs, its where I feel most comfortable. Where I can be myself with no expectations, no pressure. Happy” Christen looks almost wistful and Alex can relate.

“Same”

The more she looks at this girl the more she feels herself slipping in the wrong direction. She’s surprised at how comfortable this feels, the back and forth, the joking and she wants to know more. All the little details she’s noticing, like the slight insecurities that slip from Christen against her will. Getting to know her was supposed to squash the intrigue but instead it’s pulling her deeper and she knows this will not be good for her.

She’s too stressed.

Too controlling.

Too **straight**.

And definitely too _engaged_ for this.

But she doesn’t think she has much of a choice about this anymore and she _hates_ being out of control.

She’s stopped from continuing her thoughts when a ringtone floats into the air. Christen reaches into her bag and checks the caller ID. Alex immediately recognizes that look, the slight gloss in her eyes, the change in demeanor, she wonders if the person on the other end of that call is who she thinks it is.

Ryan.

More than a friend.

“I’m sorry I have to take this” Alex smiles politely and Christen gets up from her seat and makes her way to the bathroom entrance way. She tries to focus on Pinoe and whoever she’s impersonating with the help of Kelley, and when that doesn’t work starts to pick at the plethora of appetizers in front of her, but she can’t. She can’t turn her mind off, can’t quell the curiosity in her chest. _Screw it_. She gets up and heads towards the bathrooms.

She feels like the ultimate fucking creep for this but it’s the girl’s bathroom it’s not like Christen can straight up say she followed her or something. Alex just needs to know just needs to hear a ‘babe’ or an ‘I love you’. Okay maybe she doesn’t because the thought alone tears at the back of her throat and she didn’t even know she’d fallen this deep into whatever trap nightmare this whole attraction was. She supposes the sapphic sex dream midday should have been a clear indicator.

She walks into the bathroom and sees Christen leaned by the wall phone to her ear. Her head is slightly bent and obscuring her face but Alex can see her smile despite it. She’s not talking just listening to whatever is being said on the other side. She heads into a stall and closes it lightly.

She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing honestly and it’s scaring her. She is so out of control with this girl who she’s spoken to all of 4 times at most.

“Do I…” Alex perks up at the soft sound. “Oh yea… I couldn’t tell” Her body grows warm at the sultry tone Christens voice has suddenly adopted. She was definitely flirting with whoever was on the line and Press carries just the right amount of innocence all the time that makes this other side of her feel particularly dirty. She flushes the toilet (asks a quick forgiveness for the wasted water) and steps out of the stall towards the sinks.

“Well maybe if you came to a game you could show me after” She nearly drops the soap she was holding at the sentence. It wasn’t very suggestive, hell it might not have been suggestive at all but it sets Alex a flame in a way she hadn’t felt since…

Well since the dream.

Despite her inner protest she glances in the mirror to catch a glimpse of the girl but she’s unexpectedly met with green eyes locking into hers and her breath catches hard.

And she’s sure Christen doesn’t know it, is probably completely unaware of what she looks like and would be embarrassed if noticed. Her usually light eyes are clouded over dark and there’s a hunger in them that sets her entire body on overdrive and suddenly all Alex can think of is walking right over to her ripping that phone from her ear and pushing her up against the nearest surface and making her feel all of what Alex dreamed this afternoon. The thought alone nearly makes her moan but she catches herself, grabs a towel and flees the bathroom.

She makes her decision.

She doesn’t know what the fuck this is but she’s going to find out.

And when she does she’s going to _handle_ it.

She’s also not 100% sure if she’s talking about this mysterious Ryan or her attraction to the girl.

She’s also not sure if there’s even difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer of a chapter because you good souls deserve it and yay this didnt even take a month (its the little victories)


End file.
